


Stuck

by FrostFire36



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28306776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostFire36/pseuds/FrostFire36
Summary: Crowley gets stuck as a snake.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 18





	Stuck

Crowley, despite preferring a more human shape most of the time, never really lost most of his serpentine qualities.  
The slight hissing that snuck up in his speech every now and then. The tendency to dart his tongue in and out of his mouth every now and again. ( especially when he was interested in something or nervous.) His distinctive winding walk and of course an aversion to cold weather.

“ANGEL, OPEN THE DOOR !”  
Aziraphale had just settled down with a cup of cocoa and one of his favorite books when he heard what sounded like a SWAT team armed with crochette mallets pounding on his door. Followed by Crowley’s bellow.  
“ What on earth?”   
Aziraphale jumped up and wiping spilled cocoa from his nether regions, hurried to the door. Opening just in time for Crowley to bellow the following greeting directly into his face.  
“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!”  
Aziraphale stood blinking for a moment as Crowley pushed himself past him.  
“Finally!   
Aziraphale followed on his heels worry gnawing at his innards.  
“Crowley, what’s happened? Are you all right? Do I need to call for help?”  
Crowley flopped down on the arm chair by the wood stove and sighed happily.  
“Crowley! What in the world is the matter?!”  
Crowley stretched full length in the chair unfolding himself to an impossible length and yawned.  
“It’s cold as a witch’s tit out there that’s what was wrong. Answer me this Angel: Why do I choose to live in a place where the wind hurts my face?”  
“ You mean to tell me, all THAT was because you were cold?”  
“Pretty much. You look cross Angel, you OK?”  
Aziraphale took a deep breath. He had started off counting to ten and had now reached close to thirty. He closed his eyes and spoke.  
“ No, Crowley I am not all right. I am sweating buckets, I smell like hot cocoa and I feel like I could discorporate at any moment. But how’s your day been dear?”  
Crowley took off his glasses and seemed to see Aziraphale for the first time. From ruffled hair to cocoa stain.  
“What the hell happened to you?”

“You!” Aziraphale burst out, “You happened to me! I was sitting quietly in my happy place and along you came banging on the door and screaming like hell it’s self were…oh I’m sorry..like something terrible was happening.” He sunk into a chair, “You’re terrible for my nerves Crowley, you know how jumpy I am.”  
“ Scared you did I? “ Crowely smirked   
Aziraphale walked slowly over to him. His expression calm as the air before a thunder storm.  
“Crowley, dear..I want you to close your eyes and imagine something for me. Imagine you are sleeping. One of your really long, really comfortable naps. You’re in the middle of the best dream of your existence and suddenly. Some idiot starts pounding on your door and yelling “SIR! WAKE UP! SIR? THIS IS THE POLICE!” You wake up in a panic , run to the door knocking things over as you go. You open the door and you hear. “Evening, Sir. We’re just going around the neighbor hood letting people know THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!”  
Aziraphale ran a hand over his face and sighed. “ Do you see it Crowley? THAT was what you did to me.”  
“ You’re so dramatic Angel…You knew it was me. “   
“That made it bloody worse! I thought you were hurt or in danger or ..or..stop grinning Crowley!”  
Crowley’s face went serious. “ I’m sorry I frightened you, Angel. Next time I’ll ring the bell.”  
“Good. Are you warmer now? Would you like some cocoa?”  
Crowley shuddered, “ I don’t suppose you have coffee? Never mind, silly question…”  
Aziraphale barely missed a beat. “ It will be ready in a few minutes, Dear.”  
Crowley’s eyes went wide with surprise. You couldn’t tell of course unless he took his sunglasses off which he rarely did.  
“Since when do you drink coffee, Angel?”  
Aziraphale kept his voice even. “ I don’t. I keep it for company.”  
“Company? What company? Angel, the only company you get is me!”  
Aziraphale gave a small smile.  
“ You keep coffee here, for me?”  
“ I keep it for company.”  
“ I’m company!”  
Aziraphale turned a very unconvincing poker face toward Crowley.  
“Everything is not about you, Crowley. Here, my dear dark roast black. Just like you like it.”  
“Thank you, Angel.”  
A moment or two passed. The fire crackled, people chatted out side, inside the walls a rat ran back and forth precisely two times. Crowley was unusually quiet today. The angel took note of this but decided not to ask just now.   
The coffee and tea were gone and they were working on what was left of the whiskey when Crowley out of no where sobered up. Aziraphale followed suit worried his friend was in some distress.   
“Are you all right, Crowley? “  
Crowley did seem flushed and he suddenly seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. Aziraphale felt a tinge of alarm.  
“ ‘s all right Angel.” Crowley muttered, “ I just want to have my wits about me when I say what I’m going to say next.”  
“Oh dear..”  
Aziraphale had no idea why he responded in that way. Ever since he was a cherub he’d always expected the worst of things and hoped for the best of them. He smiled at Crowley to hopefully distract from his morbid utterance. Crowley leaned forward in his chair.  
“ How long would you say we’ve known each other, Angel?”  
Without a blink the Angel rattled off the exact number down to the second.  
“ You’ve been counting? Any way..I’d say that’s a long time wouldn’t you? Long enough to get properly attached to someone wouldn’t you say?”  
Aziraphale smiled “ Well, Yes of course. We’ve gotten close you and I haven’t we? Best of friends! “  
Crowley’s smile was sickly.   
“ Um..Angel…what if we were more then friends?”  
Aziraphale felt the icy fingers of awkwardness reaching towards his neck.   
“More then friends? What are you talking about Crowley?”  
Aziraphale knew what Crowley was talking about and he was in the process of praying to the Almighty to make him not say it.  
“I love you Aziraphale.”  
Thanks for nothing.  
“Oh…” Aziraphale poor thing was still grasping at straws. “ Well, I love you too Crowley! You know that, didn’t I just say we were best friends.”  
“No, Angel… ‘s not like that. I’m IN love with you. I have been for a long time. I was afraid to tell you but today I just figured with all that’s going on in this world I had better get a shift on. So there it is. Angel? You ok?”  
Aziraphale had not moved from his frozen smile for Crowley’s entire profession of love. He knew Crowley was starting to get a bit alarmed but he couldn’t seem to move. He searched for a response but his senses seemed to have vacated the premises. Finally he spoke.  
“ Oh..Oh I see..umm..well..Are you sure?”  
Crowley tilted his head to one side.   
“Am I sure? What kind of a response is that? Of course I’m sure !”  
Crowley seemed to see Aziraphale’s face for the first time.  
“ Oh…oh I ..I get it. Yeah.. You don’t. oh sssshit.”  
Crowely put his head in his hands with a sigh.  
Aziraphale was just about to comfort him when Crowley all but shouted,  
“But..Why the h-why not? I mean I respect your choice Angel but all this time I thought …I really thought. I mean we couldn’t be any closer if we were shut in a box and you can’t tell me you weren’t flirting!  
“I don’t flirt!”  
“Oh you doooo! All the time! I tell you Zira if your not in love with me then you’re the biggessst damn teassse in the universe.”  
“Crowley!” Aziraphale bowed his head, “ I never said I wasn’t in love with you.”  
Crowley looked at him and some of the fire drained out of his face.  
“Yeah but you didn’t exactly sssay you were either.”  
Aziraphale felt his heart ache just a little more. Confusion threatened to over whelm him. Time. He needed more time. It sounded ridiculous he’d had centuries but now when it came down to it. He realized he had no idea how he really felt.   
“No I didn’t. Crowley, my darling. I’m quite taken aback right now..I need to think. “  
Crowley snorted, “ Millions of years wasn’t enough for you, eh? You want to keep we waiting..string me along for another million? It’s not fair Angel. If you have to think this hard to know if you love me then I think you know the answer!”  
“ Crowley Dear…”  
“ Don’t you Crowley Dear me! You’re going to make up your mind about me Angel and you’re going to do it now or I will make it up for you!”  
Aziraphale felt panic spinning him around it was impossible for him to think straight.  
“Well Angel? Well? What’s it going to be?”  
In a panic he heard himself shout out.  
“I don’t know! Leave me alone!”  
Crowley slunk back. “ All right,” he said evenly, “ I will”  
Crowley rose, took the partially drunk bottle of wine and with out a word stalked to the door.  
“ Crowley, where are you going?”  
“Back to hell..go back to your books!”  
The door slammed and before Aziraphale could run after Crowley had disappeared.  
————————————————————  
“ So..so then..get this now.. He says he doesn’t know if he’s in love with me or not! He doesn’t know! I mean how’s that supposed to make me feel?”  
Crowley was currently standing by the duck pond, freezing his wings off and having a heart felt conversation with a rather sympathetic mallard duck.  
“ Angel’s…psht..am I right?”  
“Wack!”  
Said the duck and Crowley nodded.   
“ My thoughts exactly! That’s why I like you we see things the same way. You’re a right nice fellow.”  
“Wack!” Said the duck who clearly had some form of speech impediment but Crowley found it quite endearing.  
“ Millions of years…Millions of years we’ve been friends. BEST friends. You know, I…I really thought he felt the same way I did. Guess he was just having me on.”  
“Wack!” said the duck, “ Wack!”  
“Don’t you dare defend him! Whose side are you on? I am not over reacting!”  
“Hiss!” Said the duck.  
“HISSSSS!” Snarled Crowely and the duck went still.  
“Sorry, mate. It’s been a terrible day. Not myself. Here…” he tossed the last of the bread crumbs and the duck gobbled them up then looked up at him.  
“Oh it’s all right, mate. Go join your friends. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right.”  
“Wack!” said the duck as it swam off to join the others.  
“ See yas.” Said Crowley, “Love to the wife and kids.”  
Crowley sat down on the bench with a sigh. The wine bottle in his hand was suspiciously lower in volume then it had been when he arrived. “Hmm” he muttered, “ Ducks. Not such bad folks really. Once you get to know them.” He was just about to leave when suddenly he hears the sounds of running feet on the pavement.  
That was not unusual. People were always about on this path at all hours during all seasons so at first Crowley took no notice except to hide the wine bottle. Then a scent came to his nose. A familiar scent. Angel…no Arch Angel …smells like…tea leaves, sweat, holy water and possibly Beezelebub but he didn’t want to think about that.  
“Gabriel, “ he grumbled, “What the fuck is he doing here? Better get out of here.”  
Crowley slipped into his serpent form and slithered into the brush.. Crowley curled his sleek dark self into a coil and watched as Gabriel jogged toward the bench and proceeded to do his post work out stretching. As though he needed it. No Angel worth his salt would do damage to his corporeal form by simply running. Yet there he was. The Arch Angel Gabriel in all his glory doing calf stretches and squats while humming without a care in the world and Crowley was blessed with a first class back end view.  
“ I could bite that ass.” Thought Crowley “I’d probably get smited but it might be worth it.”  
It had gotten noticeably colder and if snakes could shiver Crowley would have been.   
“Come ON Gabriel!” He muttered, “I don’t want to end up a giant black snakesickle.”  
At last Gabriel was done and took off down the path again . Crowley had just uncoiled himself when he saw Gabriel raise his hand and gesture then shout out : “Good Bye, Crowley!”  
“Assss hole”.  
The first snow flakes had now begun to fall and Crowley knew this was no time to be a snake. He closed his eyes concentrated and waited. Nothing happened. Not one scale had changed.   
He tried again . Then again and finally he gave up.  
“What in the fuck is going on?!”  
Then he realized.   
“Gabriel! That wasn’t a wave it was a miracle! He made it so I can’t change!”  
The sight of a large snake cursing at the top of it’s lungs would have startled anyone so lucky no one was there to see.  
The snow was getting heavier and Crowley could feel a wave of sluggishness coming over him.  
“Shit,” he muttered “I need to get warm..now. Better get back to the book shop. If Aziraphale even lets me in.”  
He began to slither as quickly as he could toward the book shop keeping to the shadows as best he could.  
The snow was falling harder now and it took more and more energy for Crowley to slither onward.  
When he finally reached the book shop the snow was falling thick and fast and Crowley was fading even faster.  
“Just got to..get inside…ngk. It’s warm…inside.”  
With this mantra he finally managed to get up the stairs and it was then he realized something.  
Snakes can’t knock on doors.  
Crowley began whacking his thick black tail against the door and when no Angel appeared he began to shout.  
“Aziraphale! I know you’re in there! Pleassse let me in! I..”  
It was then he noticed the sign on the door “Closed back soon.”  
Crowley sunk down defeated. He had no choice but to wait for Aziraphale to return. He just prayed he’d last that long.  
“Hm…stupid Angel. Going off joy riding mid day.” He coiled himself on the doorstep settling in to wait. He felt the cold sinking into him.  
“So cold..” he muttered to himself “Hurry up, Angel …please..”   
As the snow fell on the exhaustion became too much.  
“Well,” muttered Crowley, “Maybe closing my eyes for a few moments won’t hurt. He closed his eyes then and did not open them again.  
————————————————————  
Aziraphale returned a short time later. He had been looking for Crowley everywhere and had been unable to find him. As he went up the steps he noticed what looked like a coil of wire covered in snow.  
He gently investigated it with his toe and revealed scales. Snake scales.  
“Crowley?” He began to clear the snow off in a panic “Crowley! Wake up!” When he finally had uncovered the snake he took it’s large head in his hands .   
“Crowley? Crowley please! Wake up! Oh don’t be dead, dear Lord don’t be dead!”  
At that moment Crowley’s eyes blinked and focused sluggishly. His voice was barely a whisper.  
“Az-Aziraphale…where..where the hell have you been?”  
“Looking for you! “ Aziraphale had removed his coat and was wrapping the limp Crowley in it as best he could, “Crowley I’m so sorry! “  
“Not your fault …Coatssss too small Angel..here.” Crowley made himself smaller. About the size of a short Garden hose. “ The Angel scooped him up coat and all. Holding him to his chest he hurried into the book shop. Crowley lay like a deflated balloon his head lolling over Aziraphale’s shoulder.  
“Stay awake Crowley!”  
Crowley’s eyes cleared and he curled closer to the angel’s warmth.  
“Cold.” He whimpered   
“I know Crowley, it will be warmer soon.”  
A snap and the fire in the stove was flaring. Aziraphale made a nest of blankets but Crowley refused to let go of him. Aziraphale wrapped his wings around both of them and spoke softly. “Crowley “ he said “Why didn’t you just change back?”  
“Becaussse fucking Gabriel miracled me so I can’t. I’m sssstuck.”  
So the story was told. Aziraphale did have to stifle a few giggles at certain images that popped into his head but he remained sympathetic.  
“Oh Crowley, how terrible! What a day this has been…and Crowley. I AM sorry about how I reacted this afternoon I just panicked.”  
Crowley groaned. “Not now Angel…please.”  
“But Crowley…”  
HISSSSSS!  
Aziraphale looked at Crowley unimpressed.  
“Now you’re just being rude!”  
If snakes can scowl Crowley did.  
“Releassse me,Angel. “ he said whacking his head against the angel’s wings.  
The wings opened and Crowley slithered out resuming his usual size and curling up by the stove.  
“Angel, you’re smart..do you have any idea how I can unfuck myself?”  
“Poetry as always Crowley. No Dear, not at the moment. I-I don’t even know if you can reverse a miracle. No ones ever wanted too!”  
Crowley sagged, “So I’m a sssnake forever? Is that what your getting at? Am I going to have to get myself a nice big aquarium with a few rocks? No Angel! I refuse!”  
“I wasn’t suggesting that, Crowley . I was merely thinking we might need help.”  
“From who?”  
Aziraphale looked thoughtful, then his face brightened.  
“Anathema!”  
“Anathema? Anathema Device?! Rides a bike, interprets prophecies?”  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes, “How many Anathema devices do you know?”  
“Aziraphale, she knows half of Tadfield! I’ll be a laughing stock in the magic community! ‘Hey you hear about old Crowley? Got stuck as a snake! No I’m not joking!’!  
Aziraphale frowned. “ Crowley, Anathema wouldn’t tell anyone she’s a friend! Besides She has the witchiest blood of anyone in England. Even if she is untrained. “  
Crowley proceeded to do something Aziraphale called “Pancake Snake” He flattened himself impossibly low and went limp. The only way a snake can sulk.  
“Now Crowley, don’t be like that! I’m sure Anathema will have something to help us.”  
Crowley did not look impressed. He looked deflated actually and a bit pathetic.  
“I’m going to call her, Dear. You just keep warm and stop sulking!”  
“Well,”. Thought Crowley “At least this will be entertaining.”  
————————————————————  
“Stop laughing Anathema!”  
Anathema ceased her hysterical laughter and coughed. She sounded very contrite once she spoke.  
“I’m sorry, Zira..it’s just..he’s really stuck? “  
“Yes! Why else would I be calling you? My Dear, with all due respect, Get your shit together!”  
Anathema made a choking sound at this but answered with a sober voice.  
“Is he OK other wise? The spell just made it so he can’t change back?”  
“It was a miracle!” Aziraphale said importantly   
“ Same thing,” said Anathema “I’ll be right over but Aziraphale I’ll be honest. I don’t know much about miracles just magic .”  
“But you said they were the same.”  
“They are.” Anathema said, “Until you look close. Then it gets scary.”  
“See you soon my dear and for Heavens sake don’t tell anyone!”  
“I promise.” Said Anathema   
“Thank you. “  
“Goodbye, Zira…oh wait! What animal does Crowley change into any way?”  
There was no answer.  
“Oh well guess I’ll find out.”  
——————————————————-  
Crowley had given up on “Pancake Snake” and was now coiled on the antique sofa with his upper half erect looking like an Egyptian cobra. If you looked closely you could see he was glaring at a mug of coffee flicking his tongue back and forth in frustration.  
“You could have at least put it in a ssssaucer.” He huffed  
“Oh Crumpets! Sorry Dear I wasn’t thinking.”  
Crowley made a sharp pssht noise . Most likely meant to be a sigh.  
“Never mind Angel, I don’t even know if Snakessss can drink coffee. Just leave it.”  
The banshee wail of a kettle filled the room causing Crowley to rock his head from side to side in discomfort.  
“Ah! The tea! Be right back, Dear!”  
Aziraphale had been gone for a minute at most when there was a knock on the flat door.  
“Ssshit…how am I sssuposed to answer that?!”  
“Come in! Doors open!”  
Crowley sighed with relief. Problem solved.

The door opened then closed again.  
“Hello? Any body home? I brought scones! Best part? I didn’t bake them!”  
“Ah! Anathema! Lovely to see you dear! Ooh those look lovely I’ll just take them shall I? Go sit in the parlor tea will be ready soon!”

Anathema came around the corner and Crowley saw her startle .  
Shit. He thought. Aziraphale might have mentioned I turn into a snake.  
“Oh! Whose a handsome Snakey boy?”  
Anathema wasn’t terrified , she was elated and Crowley thought with a wicked snake grin, she had no idea it was him.  
“Oh look at you! Aren’t you just so beautiful ! “  
Crowley gently slithered into Anathemas arms as she continued to fawn over him. Stroking his scales and sweet talking him.  
“Oooh! Somebody has a pretty red belly! What kind of a snake are you?”  
Not the belly. That tickled. He flattened himself but it was too late. Anathema was of the opinion snakes and all reptiles love their “Cute ickle tummies” rubbed.  
She couldn’t be more wrong and Crowley was about to call the entire joke off when Aziraphale reentered giving an audible gasp.  
“Anathema what are you doing?! That’s Crowley!”  
“What the hell?!”  
Crowley looked her dead in the eye and said “Am I still a handsssome sssnakey boy?”  
“Get OFF of me!”  
Crowley chuckled and unwound himself from Anathema’s waste resuming his former position on the sofa.  
“I can’t believe you!” Said Anathema   
“I’m a demon Anathema! Why can’t you believe it? Oh and believe me no snake likes it’s belly rubbed.”  
Anathema glared at him. “It would serve you right if I let you stay that way!”  
Crowley stuck his tongue out and he was NOT scenting the air.  
“Children if we could get down to business?”  
Aziraphale said, his tone rather like a School Master trying to keep order.  
“Anathema, dear do you think you can do anything about -this.”  
The Angel gestured at literally all of Crowley and Crowley glared at him.  
“ I..well I did find a few spells that might help…”  
“Ah! Excellent!”  
“Except …They can be dangerous and two call for holy water sprinkling.”  
“NO!”  
“Well obviously not!”  
Anathema looked thoughtful . Producing a large old looking book out of her bag she proceeded to leaf through it quickly.  
“Love charms,cleansing rituals, Summoning rites, A recipe for Nanny Nutters roast beef, a coupon for 10% off at the …Oh! Here “Reverse transfiguration spell “ Ha! Jack pot!”   
Crowley straightened up in triumph Aziraphale breathed a sigh of relief.  
“Oh …”  
That one utterance shattered hopes .  
“What’s wrong?” Asked Crowley drooping slightly.  
“This is a really advanced spell…I’ve never done this level of magic before. It might not be safe.”  
“I’ll take the risk..”  
“Not for you, Crowley for me.”  
Aziraphale seemed to understand.   
“If the spell is too strong for her, the magic may take too much out of her. She could die Crowley.”  
Crowley startled, “Yeah, Nah..let’s not do that.”  
Anathema had a very disturbing look on her face. It was the “I’m about to make a mistake so big it will be visible from space.” Sort of look”  
“I’ll do it .”  
“What the fuck, Anathema ?! Are you crazy?! No!”  
“Anathema, no! Absolutely not! I won’t allow it!”  
The chaos erupted so completely and quickly that Anathema was nearly crushed by a very large black snake hovering close to her and an irate Angel who was practically in her lap.  
“People! Back it up!”  
Anathema stood as her path became clear.  
“Can you just hear me out a minute! I have the blood of entire generations of witches in my veins.”  
“And two monkeys and a yo-yo between your ears.” Muttered Aziraphale   
Anathema shot him a look that could have frozen hell fire.  
“My point is. Old blood reinforces magic . The older the blood the more powerful the magic so with my blood lines I should be protected.”  
A momentary silence prevailed. Then Aziraphale spoke .  
“My Dear Girl, I simply cannot allow you to take this risk! I would never forgive myself if things were to go wrong!”  
“Allow me?! Listen Angel, No one allows me to do anything! I make my own decisions! Now I’m really going to do it!”  
“Don’t you dare! Crowley! Talk some sense into her!”  
Crowley started slightly. “Me? Ngk-No ?”  
Anathema smiled, “Smart snake.”  
Aziraphale groaned, “Fine…if that’s how you want it, that’s how you want it. But if either of you get yourselves killed I will never speak to you again!”  
“Noted.” Said Anathema  
————————————————————  
“This is just rediculous now.”  
Crowley lay stretched full length on the parlor floor. Strange signs drawn in ash on his scales, incense burning and one very zealous young witch standing over him with her Grimoire.  
“Ok people! Let’s get it done!”  
“This isn’t a cricket match Anathema it’s a spell try to be a bit more solemn.”  
“Yeah, you’re right. Ok listen once I start no one can make a sound . If I get interrupted really bad things can happen and do not touch me! Got it?”  
General sounds of agreement.  
Anathema closed her eyes drew herself up solemnly raised her arms to the heavens.  
ACHOO!  
“Fuck my life! Crowley!”  
“It’s not my fault! That incense sssmells like crotch! Why does magic have to smell so bad?”  
“Ok…really now…no talking..no bodily functions and begin..”  
Anathema took another deep breath , raised her arms and began to read from the book.  
The words were old and in a strange tongue but Anathema read them as easily as if they were a grocery list. As her voice began to crescendo the air in the room seemed to change. It felt like air feels before an electrical storm. Anathemas long locks floated crazily around her head. Aziraphale’s hair had become bushier then normal and sparks cracked every where.   
Crowley was fixated on the sparks jumping off his scales when suddenly Anathema shouted a word pointing her arms at Crowley.  
There was an electric flash and three things happened at once:  
A.) All the clocks in the house stopped.  
B.) The power went out on the entire block  
C.) Anathema was thrown back onto the couch where she lay limp as a rag doll.

Crowley however remained a snake.  
He had just enough time to hiss out a curse before his world went black.  
——————————————————  
When Crowley awoke the first thing he noticed was he was still a snake and the second one made his reptilian blood run even colder.

In the middle of the parlor knelt Aziraphale . His wings were out and he was glowing with angelic energy . He was muttering over something in his lap. No someone. Crowley crept closer and as his snake eyes focused he saw Anathema cradled limply in Aziraphale’s arms. Her dark eyes open wide and staring. 

“Anathema!”

“Crowley stay back!”

Aziraphale’s voice was firm as the trumpet on judgement day. Full of power.

“This is angelic energy . It could kill you.”

Crowley remained where he was.

“Is she…dead?”  
Aziraphale shook his head “no her spirits just lost it’s way…now hush.”

He wrapped his wings around himself and the girl still muttering in that strange language then he paused. There was no change.

“Aziraphale…I can’t sense her aura.

“That’s because her spirit is lost I need to call it back. Now shush! She can hear you!”

Crowley watched as Aziraphale layed Anathema with her head in his lap so his hands were free. Crowley’s heart melted at how tender and gentle Aziraphale was with the girl.

He kept rubbing her temples and forehead and whispering to her gently. Then he spoke, his tone was firm yet gentle.

“Anathema, Dear..Listen to my voice. It’s time to wake up now. I know how confused you are but all you need do is follow my voice. Find me Anathema. “

The Angel paused for a moment his eyes flickering rapidly over Anathema. His face tense. He took a deep breath. Then in a voice Crowley had never heard before Aziraphale spoke:

“Anathema Device! In the name of the powers I speak for you WILL come back to us. Hear my voice and Rise!”

Holy shit, thought Crowley He really IS an Angel!

But as the minutes passed and there was no response from the girl Aziraphale’s light faded and he slumped in defeat.

“No…” Crowley slithered over now that the danger had passed. “No, Angel, no…You can’t…don’t just give up!”

“Crowley…” Aziraphale turned misty eyes on him “ Crowley, Dear….I-I know T-This is difficult..but..she’s gone.”

Crowley hissed. “ To hell with, that! “ he slithered up to Anathema’s ear .

“Anathema! Hey! I know you’re still around so come back already. Please? Don’t you dare make me beg. Ngk…Anathema..please! Anathema WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

There was a deep gasp and Anathemas eyes blinked as she stirred.

“THAT was what worked?!” Aziraphale sputtered, “Well done Crowley…Anathema deep breaths dear you’re just fine now. “

Anathema opened her eyes and gave a groan.

“Aziraphale?”  
The Angel smiled down at her.  
“Welcome back. You did give us such a fright though.”  
Anathema sat up unsteadily and Aziraphale put a wing out on either side of her just in case.  
“Was that..Crowley I heard?”  
Crowley slithered into sight.  
“Yeah, it was me. Sorry I -Ngk-just really needed to get your attention.”  
“Oh no….” said Anathema cupping Crowley’s head in her hand, “It didn’t work.”  
“It doesn’t matter. Just..never do that spell again.ok?”  
Anathema chuckled, “Why are all the lights out? Did I blow out the electric?”  
“My Dear,” said Aziraphale “you blew out the entire block.”  
“Shit…” said Anathema, “I’m lucky I didn’t kill myself.”  
Aziraphale looked to Crowley and Crowley looked back.   
“What was that look? Wait..was I…was I dead?”  
“Discorporated.” Mumbled Aziraphale   
“What?”  
“You weren’t Dead, dead is permanent. Your spirit was just separated from your body…”  
Crowley smacked Aziraphale with his tail.  
Anathema looked ill.  
“I could have been dead if you two weren’t here. Oh God!”  
Crowley got in her face. “Hey! But you’re alive and that’s all that matters! Ok?”  
Anathema’s eyes were moist . She held out her hand to Crowley and he placed his head in it. She kissed the broad scaly head.  
“Such a good, Snakey boy …”  
Crowley gave a hiss of laughter.  
“Don’t let it get around. “  
Anathema’s eyes were soft.  
“ I heard you.” She said softly and Smiled, “Thank you for not giving up on me.”  
Crowley just squirmed in a snakey shrug, “I’ll gladly swear at you any time you like…also I’m glad you came back. Things would be too quiet with out you around.”  
Anathema smiled and turned to Aziraphale who was looking very worse for the wear.  
“Aw, Zira..” she said gently “I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I hope you’re not angry. Oh!”  
Anathema was cut off as the breath was nearly knocked out of her by an angelic embrace so tight she felt a rib crack.  
“Oh Anathema, Dear! Please don’t ever frighten us like that again! I swear I almost discorporated, myself.”  
“I promise, “Zira. I won’t be taking a risk like that again. Wait…what about Crowley though?”  
Crowley just did his snaky shrug and sighed.   
“I was a snake before, it can be rather nice. It’s bound to wear off some time.”  
Anathema was gathering her things.  
“I need to get back. Newt will worry…”  
She paused and the look in her eyes made Crowley droop with regret. Newt might have been waiting for much longer.  
After a brief protest from Aziraphale Anathema peddled away with a promise to call once she arrived home.  
They returned to the flat and shut the door!   
“FUUUUUCK!”  
Aziraphale’s frantic scream made Crowley slither to him.  
“Aziraphale are you all right?”  
The Angel threw himself down on the Sofa and put his head in his hands . He looked exhausted.  
“I will be.” He said wearily, “Just as soon as I get the image of that girls dead body out if my head. “  
Crowley went and curled around his angel wishing he once again had arms to hold him with.  
“She wasn’t really dead..just ..”  
“She might as well have been! Oh Crowley I really thought we’d lost her! Thank God for your stubbornness.”  
“Well all’s well that ends well, eh…well mostly.”  
Aziraphale sighed. “You poor thing, We’ll find a way to get you out of this I swear.”  
“ ‘m fine Angel. Sometimes it’s just the way things go. You go to bed life’s great. You wake up the next day and you’re a nine foot long Snake. What can you do?”  
Aziraphale stroked Crowley’s scales and then found the spot just behind his jaw he loved to have rubbed . Crowley went limp.  
“Angel?”  
“Yes, Crowley?”  
“ ‘m sorry I was such a Wanker to you earlier…I was just hurt , you know. I really did think…”  
“You have nothing to be sorry for if anyone was rude it was me . I just panicked. “  
“I did spring it on you. Look it’s OK we can still go on as before…”  
“Crowley…”  
“I understand if things are too awkward now but you’re all I have, so…”  
“Crowley! “  
Crowley went silent.  
“I love you too.”   
Crowley didn’t speak. Didn’t move.  
“I always have. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”  
Crowley sat blankly then he got as close to Aziraphale’s face as he could and just rested his head against The angel’s forehead .  
“‘S all right Angel” Crowley said “Anticipation is the best part.”  
“Really?”  
“Of course not! That’s shit! But I want you to feel better.”  
Aziraphale smiled.   
“But Angel, I’m a snake. What will we do about that? “  
“Well for starters we’ll need a sun lamp.”  
Crowley glared.  
“Oh my Dear, It will be all right. There has to be some way to reverse this and if not, well we’ll manage. I love you and I don’t care how you look.”  
Aziraphale bent forward and placed a kiss on the top of Crowley’s head. Crowley leaned into it in response.  
“Well it could be worsssse Angel.” Crowley said slithering up onto the sofa. “Gabriel could have changed me into a roach.”  
A gasp from Aziraphale made Crowley poke his head up.  
“What is it?”  
“C-Crowley…you’re…you’re glowing!”  
Crowley looked down at himself a silvery glow had enveloped him. He slid off the sofa just in time before a white flash blinded him.  
When his vision cleared he saw Aziraphale standing over him shaking him hard. His ears cleared just in time to hear:  
“..Too tired for this nonsense, Crowley!”  
He opened his eyes and went to sit up. Only to discover something wonderous. He had arms! And legs by the feel of it. He grinned.  
“Easy Angel, Easy! Look I’m human looking again! Eh?” He stood showing off. Aziraphale stood to.  
“Oh my Dear…” Aziraphale was obviously exhausted, “I am so very happy for you …truly. But..I could have done without thinking you were dead.”’  
“There’s this thing they call a pulse .”  
“If you’d been so considerate as to let your heart actually beat..”  
Crowley looked apologetic. “‘M sorry Angel I didn’t plan for this.”  
“Don’t be rediculous! This is wonderful! But how?”  
Crowley thought a moment “I think it may have been you…”  
Aziraphale shook his head. “No it can’t be . You can’t undo a miracle. “  
“ I don’t think it was a miracle. I think it was magic . Anathemas spell just needed a little nudge and I guess that kiss did it.”  
Aziraphale smiled. “Can you get any more cliché? True loves kiss…Good Lord.”  
Crowley grinned “ So does that mean we live happily ever after?”  
“Hmmm I never liked that expression, no one knows the future after all. Why not say “ and they lived Happily.” That’s a promise you can keep.”  
“Fair enough.” said Crowley, “Now come here so I can kiss you properly.”  
“Happily.” Grinned Aziraphale.


End file.
